“I Did That” Trump Stickers

If any of the 9 cars in my yard ran, I’m sure I’d me pissed about these gas prices.

NOTE: Do not buy these and stick them on gas pumps or stuff in the grocery store. I’m pretty sure that is illegal, and you know Jesus is watching you all being little heathens.

“I alone can fix it.”

When the ol’ golden toilet starts to get funky, grab the Toilet Duck and the Donald Toilet Brush to make your shitter great again!

Dead Lil’ MF’er

This little dude will live on the dash of my square body Chevy, ‘Air Force Amy’

Normies would like him for Halloween, while all you goth kids would rock him year round like me.

“You really should smile more”

This, I will use to remedy my RBF (resting bitch face). My youngest daughter and I suffer this condition, where our neanderthal like brow lines make people think we are angrier than we really are. I’m feeling like this mask could help make us both more approachable.

Lightweight Breathable Plastic.

Ho-Lee-Spirit!

This ain’t Casper, but she seems friendly.

Twerking ghost figurine will also be joining the dashboard, but only in October. She’ll be my version of pumpkin spice!

I shouldn’t have this

I’m gonna, but I’m just saying, even I think it’s a bad idea.

ARTFLAMM Powerful Portable Propane Torch Gun (Tank Not Included)

Available in different sizes and styles – even pink!

Emotional Support Mask

My first sale commission! These are so popular, I had to switch to a different supplier, as the last one sold out.

This item, I actually did purchase when I first opened my TikTok showcase. NO REGRETS!

Since I have an abnormally large head for a human, I had to make some slight modifications to the mask, but now I use it for my TikTok alter ego: FU Man!

Sometimes I like to just put it on and sit in my room alone on the floor, and watch videos on my phone.

…Maybe I need therapy.

Freak out the whole block!

I can’t wait to play with this thing, but just like the flame thrower, I probably shouldn’t have this without adult supervision.

An Aztec death whistle sounds like a loud shrieking woman, in case you didn’t already know.

TikTok, for some reason, describes it as unisex. I’m trying to wrap my brain around that.

Where to stick it

Just looking at this image, you know your mind is racing, thinking of all the places this sticker can be placed for some surprise toilet humor.

500 stickers to giggle at like a 5th grader! Do it… DO IT!

Keep the X in Xmas

Because: Eff those HOA ho ho ho’s.

The Karens will probably bring it up in the next association meeting, then they’ll probably tell you to take it down, but your neighbors will be impressed with your passive-aggressive rebellion until then.

Bed Nugs

Snuggle up like a happy little roach in a sack of flower!

This light weight throw blanket comes in several sizes to fit any bed. Also makes a great sofa cover.

Your probation officer will love it!

The Great Philosopher, Redd Foxx

Gen X and older: Who else’s face can immediately start a song on autoplay in your head, that then plays all the out, no matter how much you resist?

I’m now at the part where the harmonica gets heavy…

I just can’t even…

Bruh, I laugh so hard every time I read this. It’s beautiful, because it’s such an established logo, you could get halfway through Walmart, before someone finally noticed it and giggled.

Establish Dominance in the Workplace

Show those slackers who’s in charge with this classic desk sign.

Set the Tone

Are you tired of humans? Do they keep invading your space at work, making you have to socialize and pretend you care about their stupid lives?

Keep this on your desk to remind these idiots how little you care, so when you crash out, you know that they were warned.

Office Fidget Spinner

Try all the different configurations of this fun cube to reduce stress and improve focus.

WARNING

Side effects include, but are not limited to: bleeding cubicle walls, chains with hooks flying toward you and/or coworkers, loss of epidermis, cenobite infestations, and accidental relocation to a labyrinthine hellscape.

Never Forget

Dolly Duck is going to hang out on my dashboard next to Lil’ MF’er.

The TikTok store says you can use this for “ducking” but I’m not sure what that means. I’m kinda afraid to look it up.