Author: philw

Sometimes I get my deepest self-reflections from reading comments from people who absolutely hate me. While I usually feel most of them misunderstand me, some succeed in calling me out on my B.S. in ways I could never achieve on my own.

Of course, there are also some miserable angry meanies out there that can just kiss a butt too. You know who you are!

With a small handful people eager to point and laugh at my every failure, I put up a front, and often hold back sharing some of my hardships. I didn’t realize how much so, until I had a conversation with a cousin in Georgia, who pointed out how I never seem stressed out on social media. This came as a shock to me, considering I see myself as an open sore who shares too much.

So let me open up a little to set your minds at ease.

Haters, take note:

My cardiologist could confirm the above statement, if I still had health insurance. I take pills at a high dose every day to ensure I don’t have a stroke and die. I am a 49-year-old man with 1 kidney and high blood pressure, a broken back, and I already had one knee go out. Being a superhero has its consequences.

Financially, things aren’t the best right now. Right after they gave me a good review and a raise for setting up and running the casino marketing print shop, some Cabbage Patch Kid-faced dude came in one morning and informed me they were eliminating my position. I used to hold jobs for years, even getting statewide awards. In the past few years, that stability has diminished.

With health and money, I am aware of the bed I made for myself. I used to play the game right, being a good little cubicle dweller, holding back my inner demons that kept my middle fingers down. Perhaps working 4 years for the world’s most famous legal pimp broke that. When I stood up against powerful groups to defend the Hof empire, I let out another me that I can’t put back. For this reason, I have become mostly un-hirable anywhere locally (so I’ve been told).

My wife of 26 years is amazing. Besides being an awesome mom to all 5 of our kids, she’s a hard working lady who’s put in some time with the State. For what she puts up with there, and what she has achieved professionally, I am very proud of her. She’s come a long way since I met her in the mail room of the Nevada Appeal in the late 1900’s. She’s the glue that holds our family together, and I know I’m lucky she hasn’t gotten tired of my shit yet.

The last two kids I had, became legal adults. Just a few months ago, my second oldest son got married. My youngest daughter just moved out and started college. All of them are starting out in a wrecked economy, where jobs are few and the expenses are high. Compared to when Lisa and I were their age, prices have risen 94%.

Our Honda got pulled out of back yard retirement, and I learned how to do a valve job on that (which I would do several more times until I realized the problem was bigger).

The old C20 I call Air Force Amy, which has been a constant project and my daily driver, just blew it’s torque converter.

My trusty Suburban is grounded to the back yard until I get the $400 I need to rebuild the engine. That truck is a legend, but she found her limit.

My kids’ shitboxes are always breaking too. Between theirs and mine, I’ve been a full time driveway mechanic, doing jobs far beyond my pay grade as a graphic artist.

Every time I look at a headline, it seems worse than the last one. TDS is real, but it’s not what the cult says it is. Trump has deranged the minds of everyone, haters and boot lickers alike. Families are getting disappeared. We’re starting wars and even threatening allies. It’s even been made obvious that this country, and possibly the world, is run by cannibalistic pedophiles.

It’s just so much, all at once, all the time now. Everyone picks a camp, ignores what goes against their confirmation bias, and marches on. For me, it seemed like the obvious choice not to pick the side of cruelty and fascism, but many people openly disagree with me on that.

I rescued an abused 6-month old puppy just before I got canned from the casino. For my blood pressure and inner demons, this little dude has been the best medicine. He scares easily, so I have to be gentle, no matter how my day is going.

Pepper has grown a little physically, and by leaps and bounds emotionally. It took a lot of effort and patience to get him to trust these big hairless gorillas that used to only hurt him. He’s learned that most people are nice, and his new family has his back. He also scored, since I cook fully balanced fresh daily meals for my doggos.

Even posting updates about Pepper can help redirect my attention from all the bad news and meanies online. This kid can get me out of a bad mood, just by snuggling up next to me and looking up with those brown eyes. We’ve become each other’s therapy animals, it seems.

Hell if I know!

For those of you joining from a Facebook link, there’s a possibility I have blocked you from my gossip group, “My Dayton Peeps is Bigger,” or even blocked you from my personal account. It’s partially spite, partially protection. Some of you have teamed up in an attempt to get my account banned, which would have wiped out 15 years of my family memories there. So if I don’t feel right about you on that platform, I just cut you off.

Even on NextDoor, these turds try to jump me! One random guy I’ve never heard of, wrote a post the other day to encourage everyone in my NextDoor neighborhood to report me to get me permanently banned. Ironically, I think this caused him to get banned, since we haven’t heard from him since.

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Let’s Talk About It

Saturday, August 6, 2022: Running late for a big Desert Pigs cleanup in Minden, I was standing in my dump trailer, struggling to get a riding mower with flat tires out of it. I needed this trailer for that morning’s adventure 11 miles deep into the Pine Nuts.

The little tractor, and occupied camper trailer, and many piles of assorted junk filled my back yard, since my mother had just moved back there after getting evicted from her place. It was only a couple weeks after I had cleared my back yard of my extra vehicles and about 800 tires collected from Pig runs. Now it was filling back up.

Having dragged the heavy riding mower halfway over the ramp, with its larger rear wheels over the hump, I could feel something catch underneath. Annoyed and stressed about the lost time, I grabbed to front and snatched upward to free the front half of the riding mower.

*Snap*

I could hear the sound in my body. It was like a combination of a wet popping noise, combined with a corner of wafer board snapping. It felt like someone threw a trailer hitch into my back. The pain was the worst I had ever experienced. I rolled around in the trailer for a bit, expressing my displeasure with the sudden pain.

I apparently went into shock. Fortunately, my autopilot is a pretty dependable guy. He’s always looked out for us and used better common sense than me. His past accomplishments:

• Stopped me from falling down when my friends and I were passing each other out in high school. While I was completely checked out, he walked, and even told the others how this activity can cause brain damage.
• Brought a moving vehicle to a full stop on the side of the road once when I passed out while driving.
• Has been suspected of throwing hands while I’m under anesthesia, according to extra stitches and some questionable surgery notes. I don’t know what he told the colonoscopy folks, but they warned each other to watch out for me.
• Finished unloading the riding mower, apparently threw each 60-pound ramp about 10 feet, hooked up the trailer, loaded the gear, and parked it in front of my house.

Of course, I wasn’t around to experience any of these events, but with the exception of the back injury that morning, all had witnesses to see Autopilot drive the Phil. To this day, I can only remember hurting my back, then walking to the loaded truck and trailer parked out front, running.

I participated with the Pig run, mostly just filming, while taking all the over-the-counter pain killers I safely could. Finding out two days later that I had a spinal fracture, it made sense why that 22 miles of rough tail riding hurt so much.

After a weekend of activities, the following Monday was too painful to bear. A trip to the urgent care led to a trip to the X-ray, which revealed a lumbar fracture. I was in a brace for a few months after that, but was still able to participate in Desert Pigs adventures, as long as I was careful. From then on, my crew members have always been there to yell at me when I try to pick up something heavy.

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Today

I guess an L4 compression fracture never really heals. I mean, it sort of does, but it’s never right again. Pain is an every day thing, although with some tricks I learned in physical therapy, I’ve learned how to use back certain muscles to compensate. With this, I have been able to lift some heavy objects without the fear of injury.

While I have adapted somewhat, I am still limited. A couple of hours on a Pig run is usually enough to make me hurt a little for the rest of the day. Daily manual labor is not an option. Long car rides are also a pain. Even laying down hurts, due to the way my muscles get used to support my spine.

Thankfully, I can still feel my legs and have full control over my own plumbing. I will do what I can to make sure this remains the case.

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Let’s Talk About It

Thank God for the vote yesterday from the Lyon County Board of Commissioners to approve the request from Copia Power Devco, LLC, for approval of a zone change to Planned Unit Development for the Monarch Data Center, a 4.6 million square foot, 1,000 Megawatt data center consisting of 8, two-story buildings up to 95 feet tall, a 500-MW battery energy storage system, a 500-MW natural gas backup system, an electrical substation, high voltage power lines and other accessory uses over two parcels subject to RR-20 zoning totaling 505.40 acres in accordance with the Monarch Data Center Specific Plan.

No really, thank God!

When I ran against Tammy Hendrix a couple years ago for the District 3 seat on the board, still calling myself a Republican, I lost to her 3 to 1 in the primary. The biggest issue Lyon GOP had with me: I am not a Christian.

Funded by some well-to-do zealots with an agenda to dominate every position of power in our county, Tammy Hendrix was the favorite pick of the Temu Turning Point, Calvary Chapel’s Community Impact Team. They had every Bible thumper in Lyon County going at me on social media for having the audacity to run, while not worshiping their Lord and Savior, Jesus H Christ.

Of course, lack of religion wasn’t the only reason some didn’t vote for me. Just off the top of my head:

• I talked smack about a deputy’s handling of a homeless vet, which pissed off the beloved Sheriff, prompting him to publicly not support me.
• The creepy coffee shop guy in Dayton was telling his customers that I “didn’t know the county ordinances”. I found that a weird statement, considering I am somewhat literate, and they are written in English and all are easily accessible.
• I had no PAC. There were a couple donors, and I ran the entire campaign on less than $3k, while Hendrix raised $30k to fight me. Needless to say, she had way more big signs.
• Certain people think I’m mean. But if they weren’t being those certain people, I’d probably be a lot nicer.
• I’m too short. No really – this was brought up a few times.

Mostly though, it was religion that sealed my political fate. I was labeled as immoral, even demonic by some. I didn’t fit the holy mold to hold office. And when I had a congregation of 500+ people voting against me in a primary, where maybe a couple thousand vote, I feel honored to have gotten a third of the votes!

I would not have prayed about it before voting on the Monarch Data Center. Even if I had my mind made up when I sat in the bid red chair, as a county commissioner, I would have been moved by the tribal representatives who were all angry they got left out of the process. I would have taken note of all the inconsistencies and half truths from the data center reps. Growing up as a simple, broke POS, I’d never hold myself higher than the public who filled the room to beg elected officials for a moratorium.

Had I won against Hendrix a couple years ago, I would have been the vote to stop the monster from destroying Yerington. For the first time, I actually regret not winning the election. Now I feel like it’s my fault for not being there for our County when they needed me.

NOTE: I am NOT planning to run again.

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Let’s Talk About It