If you’ve been on enough adventures with Desert Pigs, you’ve probably seen things. Within the first year of this movement to pick up trash in public lands all over Nevada, we cleaned one scenic overlook in Dayton that was littered with hundreds of women’s panties.

Then later, only a few miles from the Dayton mass panty drop, we discovered a juniper tree surrounded by a massive amount assorted self-serving pleasure devices. 

My first blog on this site from August of 2021 featured a story about a FleshLight getting surrounded by Lyon County deputies in yet another part of Dayton.

This region’s wild hooker population has obviously been growing out of control in the past decade, based on their impact on public lands. 

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Clashing points of view

While some wild hooker groups don’t like me using this term, I keep it real and call them FERAL hookers. This doesn’t mean I support the BLM roundups, and I’m not trying to take any sides, I just think it’s wrong to call them all wild. 

Many argue that hookers bring in tourism to northern Nevada, while others are concerned about their environmental impact and increased incidents in neighborhoods and highways. Fencing and diversionary feeding has only been minimally effective in controlling populations, as demonstrated by the amount of often expensive sex toys still being found in towns all over Nevada.

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Are feral hookers from the local ranches? 

To get answers from the reclusive Nevada legal brothels, I was forced to go deep under cover, posing as a marketing manager for over 4 years. Enduring the daily grind of sorting the visual media of scantily clad women advertising their services to the internet and on print material for handouts, I learned the way of the sinners’ petting zoo.

The courtesans of Sagebrush, Bunny, Love, and KitKat ranches were all well fed and had safe shelter (which came with expensive room rent, 50% of their earnings back to the house, and weekly doctor checks). There were required company meetings called ‘tea parties’, which were nothing like the ones portrayed on HBO’s Cathouse back in the early 2000’s. We all dreaded them. Work meetings just suck everywhere, I guess.

During my mission at the legal brothels, I did witness a few crash-outs that led to ladies leaving in cabs, and there was rumor of one really weird one that snuck out at night through a dip under the back gate of the employee parking lot… even though they could all just walk right out the gates and leave anytime they wanted.

Fencing around the ranches, as the late rancher Dennis Hof explained, was never to keep the independent contractors or employees in, but rather to keep out the drunks, tweakers, and pissed off wives and girlfriends.

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Unsolved mysteries of adult novelties

There are still so many unanswered questions. Why so many rubber ding-dongs out there in the sagebrush? How do they seem to wiggle their way to remote areas of desert all over Nevada? Why is it so fun to stick them on our hoods when we drive the trails, then post them on TikTok, resulting in our accounts restricted? 

We may never know how the marital aids keep spreading to wilderness across the state’s public lands.

IMPORTANT SAFETY NOTE:

If you encounter a ball gag, anal beads, prostate massager, vibrator butt plug, or flesh light in the wild, do not pick it up with your bare hands. Do not keep it, and DO NOT slap your friend in the head with it, no matter how funny that would be. Wear protective gloves, and dispose of it in the trash immediately.